express news 66

Lincoln Playa

So I thought that since it was February, a very special month, we would like to re-introduce the illustrious Mr. Lincoln Playa. Except that Lincoln feels that his time is better served “serving fools” which means that he really did not feel like writing. It is my personal opinion that he was really only a one trick pony, and that trick was only afforded by a rather hefty pay-day loan from the Money Tree. Really I think that ship has sailed anyway, and maybe we here at Express News would be better off without his macho, barely coherent ramblings. To use his own words, I think he is “Played” . Maybe it is best to remember him as he once was. I’ve talked to him in recent months, and believe me I hate to say it, but he has grown complacent and sort of sappy. He talked about all of the hurt he caused to all of those thousands of women, through the years. I think he was crying at one point. Lincoln Playa crying?

I think that it is blessing in disguise that he has chosen not to write for us. Who wants to see a blubbering has-been moaning and groaning about “those big lovin’ times” gawd…

Instead of Lincoln, I would like to introduce our fashion correspondent Darren D’Orro.
We would also like to remind everyone that this is the 5th annual month of the mustache.

posted by andrew niemand @ 10:39 AM